Awake


A shadow walks by.

Staring at a window, at myself.

I breathe deep. Everything goes dark.

I open my eyes. I force them open. I know they’re open. But there’s only darkness.

I scream. But it muffles me. I move. But it pins me.

I want to cry. I can’t.

I see myself as I walk away, staring at a window then staring at myself.

I feel the pain, the saw, the scraping, the blood dripping down.

I want to cry. I can’t.

I want to go back to sleep.

About 17% of patients awake during surgery. Some are lucky enough to open their eyes, thus alerting the staff. Some can’t open their eyes. People have referred to the sensation as being “sleeplocked”.