This month’s Absolute Write Blog Chain has me in a bind. The topic is to be thrown by the previous poster, creating tons of excitement and mystery. Well, not really, just a couple of seconds of slight jitter before opening Internet Explorer to find the topic, my topic is: Cupcake Disaster.
Before getting to the story: here’s the link to all the great posts from the great blogs participating this February.
orion_mk3 – http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to post) Yuppies Who Hate the Family Business
ConnieBDowell – http://bookechoes.com/ (link to post) Unexpected Library Encounter
bmadsen – https://hospitaloflife.wordpress.com/ (link to post) Cupcake Disaster (You are here!)
MsLaylaCakes – http://www.taraquan.com/ (link to post) Topic
HistorySleuth – http://historysleuth.blogspot.com/ (link to post) Topic
writingismypassion – http://charityfaye.blogspot.com/ (link to post) Topic
katci13 – http://www.krystalsquared.net/ (link to post) Topic
KitCat – http://twilightasylum.wordpress.com/ (link to post) Topic
Briony-zisaya – http://fantasywriterwannabe.blogspot.com/ (link to post) Topic
CatherineHall – http://theelephantinthetemple.blogspot.com/ (link to post) Topic
Angyl78 – http://jelyzabeth.wordpress.com/ (link to post) Topic
randi.lee – http://emotionalnovel.blogspot.com/ (link to post) Topic
Lady Cat – http://carolsrandomness.blogspot.ca/ (link to post) Topic
pyrosama – http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com/ (link to post) Topic
Ralph Pines – http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ (link to post) Topic
dclary – http://www.hardhobbittobreak.com/ (link to post) Topic
meowzbark – http://www.lizzylessard.com/ (link to post) Topic
And here we go.
The topic, as mentioned, is Cupcake Disaster. We are in February. Cupcakes. February. It falls into place. I’ve decided that my blog is a bit depressive and sad (well, not decided, but rather someone told me), so here’s a bit of humorous parting stories before I move to another blog.
Why do animals scratch and sniff everything? Because they are smart. That’s why. So on February the 13th, I was getting ready for a romantic dinner with my girlfriend. I had been juggling the thought of baking her some molten chocolate cupcakes (which I’ve never made before). The recipe seemed quite easy and on the light side, which I’m all about. It was just a matter of taking cocoa powder (always in the glass jar), yogurt, peanut butter, apple sauce and honey, mix it with flower and baking powder. Boom, bam, done!
The cooking process took just fifteen minutes. The baking process took about twenty. And she arrived. Stunning. Her long, slender legs trying to escape from that sexy two-piece dress. They gracefully teased me and then hid again. Beautiful tanned skin flashing just enough. She smiled as she kissed me and I took hold of her hand.
The candles flickered as I closed the door and she opened her eyes wide in amazement. I was on the right path. We sat down and dinner began: first course was a simple arugula and pomegranate salad with an Asian honey dressing.
I felt on the right path.
Then came a Yucca-crusted Salmon filet over a bed of Jazmin rice and oven-roasted bell peppers. She just kept smiling and thanking for taking my time in coming up with such a great dinner. I had rented her favorite movie so I knew I had this in the bank.
But then came dessert. As the oven went “bing!” I made the mistake of saying “wait for this”. I went into the kitchen and pulled out my wonderfully appealing molten chocolate cupcakes. I mean, how could I lose? Just reading it seems enticing. But no. I placed it in front of her, after sprinkling powder sugar over it and sat down. She gently cut in with a spoon and the thick mixture oozed out at a gentle place, immediately clashing with the white china. I had made it. I had succeeded in creating the perfect dinner.
Then she took a bite.
There’s something about cringing you don’t ever get used to, and she did just that. She tried to smile but I knew she wasn’t a good actress. For a second, my heart went racing. Her eyes, big and dark, wondered around from side to side like a couple of drunken dancers looking for a place to sit. She found the napkin.
That’s when I knew something had gone wrong.
“I’m sorry,” she sighed in a confusing, defeated tone, “it’s. I can’t. It’s inedible.”
“What?” I asked. I’m pretty sure I stuttered like crazy.
“It’s just. It tastes awful, honey.”
“But it can’t be. It’s not. I can’t.” I immediately tried to apologize and only managed to after breathing deeply for a second. I rushed back to the kitchen–leaving her by herself to have all the water she wanted to–and began a quick CSI scan of the ingredients.
Damn it, nature. Why don’t humans scratch and sniff?
Have you ever seen Costa Rican five spice? Well, here’s a hint. It looks just like cocoa.
At least I though I could save the night by watching the movie. But it turned out five spice stays in you. For a long time. It stays in your throat, in your teeth, in your tongue. Long enough to spark the sentence: “I’m going to go home. I had a good time.”